Coming to you from the future today -- and looking back on where I was
ten years ago. It's easy to have perspective on it now that I
know how everything turned out. But back when I was living
through it, it was a pretty confusing time.
For instance, back then it was hard to tell whether continuing to
struggle along in my chosen field, musical theater, was a brave act of
perseverance that would ultimately pay off... or a foolish waste of a
life. Years later, it's hard to remember how much anxiety
those
thoughts used to cause me. But that's what led to my
big
decision in November 2011 -- which changed everything.
I barely recognize the person I used to be. And I don't just
mean physically -- though obviously there's been some, uh, big changes
in that department too! No, I mean the person I was inside.
I read blogs that I wrote a decade ago, and I'm amazed that I
ever had those thoughts or feelings. I was wrong about so many things!
Ah, well. Time has
a way of revealing the truth, slowly, inexorably...
In those days I was always so pre-occupied with the question of
posterity: would I ever make something in this world that
would live
on after me? A song...? A show...? A child...?
Well the answer to
that question came in a way I could never have predicted, though now it
seems almost inevitable. And it's strange to think that my
"baby" is
over seven years old now!
I wish I could drop in on that confused 36-year-old guy I
was and
tell him a few things about the future. I would tell him who
his
real friends are. I would smack him on the head and tell him
to
stop taking for granted the best things in his life. I would
tell
him to take the plunge and do that thing he's so afraid of doing --
because it'll be one of the best things he ever does. But I'd
tell him for God's sake
don't do that other thing because that's six years of his life that
he'll never get back.
All the missteps and missed opportunities that I could spare myself...
All the things that were painful to me back then that I could laugh
about if I only knew the upshot... All the joy, all the love, all the
truth that I could
get to so much sooner... Oh, if I could just travel back in time and
tell myself!
But of course federal regulations prohibit that.
Musings
Past
