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* A WANTED MAN *

NELLY, SARA, EUNICE

Well...

SARA

It's just about the biggest bit of gossip that we ever did hear about hereabout.

EUNICE

All of us are near about ready to bust,
'Cause we just got the news
And we hurried over here without a second to lose.

NELLY

We had it from the widder there's a kid around the hovel
Who polished off his Pap with a tap of a shovel.

NELLY, SARA, EUNICE

We're tryin' to be subtle,
But we're dyin' for the scuttlebutt now.

SARA

 I said I heared about him first!

EUNICE

Oh, I'll fight you for him, I will.

SARA

You keep your hands off, polecat!

NELLY

Hey!

NELLY, SARA, EUNICE

Oh...
It isn't very often that we happen to be having us a bona fide homicide.
Everybody's goggle-eyed over the lad
Hit his Dad on the head
With the blade of a spade, and he laid him out dead,
Settin' the tongue of every pretty young gal a-wag,
Speculatin' whether he's a scamp or a scalawag.
Every little gadabout's
Positively mad about how...

NELLY, EUNICE

He's a wanted man.
Blind rages dwell within him.

SARA

Dangerous and desperate,
He's an outlaw on the run.

NELLY, EUNICE

Honey, if I can
I'll find a way to win him for my own.

NELLY, SARA, EUNICE

Wanted man...
Ooh, I want me one.

'Cause...
You figure that a fellow who would finish off his Pap in so irrational
A fashion'll be full up with a passion
He'll lavish upon the lady-love of his life.
Merciful me, if I could be the man's wife!
Settles a spat with the flat of a spatula—
That, you'll agree, is a fine kind of bachelor.
One humdinger of a swinger of a deadly tool!

He's a wanted man.
Wild passions tearin' through him...
Not one man in a hundred woulda done the thing he done.
But I got a plan
For talkin' sweet up to him all alone.
Wanted man,
I don't blame him.
Given time,
I could tame him.
Wanted man...
Ooh, I want me one!


© 2009 by Peter Mills